It has always been that person. The one who hurt me. Broke me. The cause of my pain and the change in me. First there was pain, followed by numbness, replaced by self loathing, and then anger, which never left. They say time heals all wounds. True. But time does not erase the scar. Over time, the scar became less visible and eventually, almost unnoticed. But it's there, like the acid in my stomach that is unleashed whenever touched wrongly. When will I resurface from this sea of resentment? Will I?
The head says to forgive... the heart says no. It's like waiting for that AHA moment when every wrong just didn't matter anymore. But it hasn't come yet. It may not come. The acid now is starting to melt the wall of sanity... maybe I need to work at being able to forgive.
Entitlement. The need to see the worthiness, the regret... the reckoning of the debt before forgiveness is possible. Too ensnared to see clearly... maybe that person is me. Maybe that person I need to forgive is me. Maybe... maybe.
1 comment:
hmmm again the question is ...who are you referring to...or should I say you speaking from your own experience?
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